Life throws everyone a curveball or two (hundred); no exceptions. Last year was a curveball year for me. Curveball makes it sound light, though. It wasn’t light. It was actually really heavy. In the midst of my circumstances I found myself overwhelmed, unmotivated, and depressed.

Now, add in that no matter what arrows get shot in my direction, I still have to be a mother to four young kids. I still have to homeschool, I still have to clean. I still have to make all the meals and make sure all the too-small clothes get replaced and buy all the Christmas gifts and create all the magic and– well, you get the idea.

I vividly recall sitting in one of the kids’ parent/teacher conferences in the thick of my season. My emotions were high and I felt like I was dropping so many balls; like I was failing my kids. I carry the majority responsibility for my children’s education and I was cutting every corner I could just to be able to check each lesson off the list. There are no do-overs on their childhood and I felt the pressure; there’s such a limited time to mold my children and attempt to build the foundation they deserve; in education, in their relationship with God, in their values– in everything.

This sweet teacher (bless her heart), watched me burst into tears against my will as I broke down. She kindly reminded me that the education ball bounces and that my child has excellent character. She also told me that character is learned, and can’t really be taught.

I needed that break down. I needed those reminders.

I decided to go easier on myself. I still feared the season would last far too long and the effect of me being in it would have far too great of an effect on my kids; but I kept moving forward at whatever pace I could manage anyway.

Fast forward through a much needed summer and we are already nearing the end of our first unit back at school. I was pretty nervous to add another student to our homeschool roster (hellooooo homeschooling 3/4 kids) given how overwhelmed I was last year; but I know I’m in a different place than I was then and was hopeful that I could find a way to manage our time in a way that would be less overwhelming. Sure enough, this has been our smoothest start to the school year, yet. The workload is heavy, but we’ve gotten every little bit of it done. We aren’t overwhelmed, and so far none of us has cried in frustration with each other (if you homeschool- you know haha).

Maybe you’ve also found yourself in the thick of having to parent through life’s hard seasons. If you have- I wish I could give you a hug. It’s really hard to show up for other people when we can barely show up for ourselves. Yes, even our kids. We do it. But it’s really freaking hard. I want to validate that for you.

But we won’t stay there. We recognize the hard, and we keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter what pace we move at as long as we’re moving in the right direction. Our kids will be okay, because God stands in our gap and in our lack, and the heavy will eventually be light again. I promise.