There are many thoughts that go through the mind of a mom; sometimes they are thoughts we never thought we would have- Other times they are thoughts we would never want to admit. At the end of a long day, I like to evaluate the things I think and say as a mom; because quite frankly, it’s fairly comical. Here’s an honest look into the mind of a mother. Enjoy 😉
Mealtime Clean up
“Should I clean her hands first? Or her face? Or the high chair tray? If I do her face, she’ll rub her dirty hands on her clean face. If I clean her hands, she might rub her clean hands on the dirty tray. If I clean the tray, she’ll rub her dirty hands on the clean tray. Oh my gosh- this is ACTUALLY impossible!!”
Driving In The Car
“Oh no- don’t cry honey, we’re almost home! Baby girl, mommy’s here! Ummmm A B C D E F– no? Okay ummmm The Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out… Yeah? You like that? Out came the sun… (20 minutes on repeat later) …ok we’re 2 blocks from home.. Almost there! …No no no no… Don’t fall asleep NOW. STAY WITH ME!!”
“Nice doggy… Yes, be gentle. Good. No… Ellavie, don’t pull on Runner’s ear… Yuck! No.. Don’t bite it!!”
“Aww she fell asleep in my arms! This never happens anymore!! ….hmm. My phone isn’t that far away.. I bet I could… Nope. Not quite. Remote? Nope. Even further. That’s okay, I’ll just take in this precious time with my baby”.
–two minutes later–
“Oh man. I have to pee”.
“Ugh, my eyebrows are so overgrown. Good thing that’s sorta in.”
“Oh hey! I found all the hair I’ve been shedding! It’s growing in over my lip… Sooooo. There’s that. Sweet”. 😐 (Blondes, I loathe you. You don’t even understand).
“I showered yesterday, right? No. The day before. Wait… It was the day before that. I think. Crap”.
“Shoot- I forgot to shave. Leggings it is (Again)”.
“My hair isn’t THAT greasy, is it? I can go out in public, right? …right?”
“Oh no… I have to sneeze. Please no… Hold it in.. You don’t need to… (Squeezes legs together and prays that I don’t pee) Ahhhhhchoooo!!”
Regarding Baby Bodily Fluids
I like to call this process my new moisturizing routine…
“Drooled on me? Rub it in”.
“Spit up on me? Rub it in”.
“Smashed your runny nose into my shirt? Rub it in”.
–disclaimer: If your baby pees or poops on you, please do not “rub it in”. Please.–
This is reality, folks. And it’s all so worth it. Moms, what are some of your funny thoughts? (I know you toddler moms are FULL of the funniest! 😉)