When I was pregnant with my son, I felt bad that he was lacking the attention that my daughter got when I was pregnant with her. I began to worry and feel the guilt of all the attention he would not experience, being that he was our second child. I thought about all of the constant snuggles and cuddles I got with my daughter as an infant, and how I wouldn’t have the time to give him the same. I worried he wouldn’t feel the same amount of love that she felt.
Fast forward nine months. As it turns out, I didn’t need to worry so much about him- I fell instantly in head-over-heels-love the second I saw his face, exactly as I did with my daughter. I wasn’t worried about having enough love for both of them, though. I could not (and still can not) get enough of him. Believe me when I tell you, he gets A LOT of cuddles. I guess I did not need to worry about him getting enough attention, afterall.
What I did not expect was that my daughter would be the one pining for my attention. Talk about a shattered mom-heart when your first born is begging to be held by you all day long.
So of course, I begin to worry about how the attention I’m giving him, as a needy newborn does require, is effecting HER. The tables have turned. How can I explain to a two year old that I still love her just as much as I did before? Will she understand that this phase will pass and things will even out? I worried that SHE no longer felt the amount of love that I have for her.
I read a blog post on Boston Moms Blog (shared by Twin Cities Moms Blog) that said everything I was feeling better than I could- you can read it here. (I am not affiliated with TCMB or BMB and am not compensated for sharing this post- it just REALLY resonated with me and reassured me).
This was a turning point for me. I cut myself some slack and reflected on those first several weeks of being a mom of two. What I found in that time of reflection was major conviction. I realized that as a Christian, my worries for either child were wrong to begin with.
It was wrong to worry.
2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Umm. HELLO, SELF!! I know this! Yet why is it that it’s so easy to forget- and even harder to apply?
In my church life group, we’ve been talking a lot about obedience to God, and how blessings will overflow when we’re abiding in it. This surely applies in this situation.
See- if I had been obedient to God’s command that I should not fear or be anxious, then I would not have wasted so much time and energy trying to make sure each child felt equally loved. Instead, I could have quieted my mind, given my worry to HIM, and let my immense love for my children flow naturally and without stress; I could have set control aside and allowed and trusted God to fill the depths of their little hearts when I inevitably fall short.
How often do you worry and stress about things that you ultimately have little control over in your own life? How much love each of my children feel is hardly the only area in my life that I am guilty of not letting God do His thing.
He loves you.
He loves the people you love.
He knows your cares.
He knows your worries.
Give it to Him.
He will take care of you.
1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”